Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I hath return! Rejoice! ...No? Ah, foog it. Just read.

It's been a few weeks since I put up and entry, but I had my reasons. First, I was without internet for a week. Then I got wrapped up in recording some new music, so the blog took a backseat. Anyway, I'm back for another lovely adventure into the land of WTF moments. First a couple of updates:

The egg- It's still there. I don't think it's gonna hatch, and if it doesn't I'm not sure I want to see what comes out of it.

The peanuts- It was the blue jays! They're stealing peanuts from somewhere, sitting up in the tree near my garden and dropping peanuts in. There's a baseball park not far away, so I assume that's where they're getting them from. Anyway, peanut mystery solved.

SO... now on to our next installment.

One night I was sitting talking to J. and he's telling me about this commercial he saw for this thing called the 'Comfort Wipe', and how he was totally like O_O! WTF?! when he saw it. Apparently this handy little object allows for one to wipe their bum after 'relieving' themselves. It boasts 'Never touch a dirty toilet tissue again!' Hm... uh... what about the toilet tissue you drop when the 'grip' of this product fails and you drop the 'dirty toilet tissue'? Or what about when you can't figure out how to use the goddamn thing and end up poking yourself in the bumhole when you're trying to use it? Or again, when you drop the tissue cuz you can't hold the frickin' thing right? Now, okay... so this kind of product is generally marketed to senior citizens or those with physical disabilities as an item of convenience that will aid them in areas where they might have trouble. Sure.. I get that, but the commercial had people of all ages in it. So... now we can't even wipe our own asses? Wow. I think we've all gotten a little too lazy.

And... moving on... another interesting tidbit. Well, maybe its not, but it made me blink and tilt my head in confusion. I was kind of bored and started looking up random things on Yahoo Answers. I decided to put in 'unicorns' and I came across this... "How do I make my own unicorn?" I was like Um... what? Seriously? o_o I mean, I figure that it's probably someone fucking around and being funny, but it scared me a little that the dude might be serious. He asks about a prostetic horn to put on a horse or a goat, and how little girls love unicorns, how they make them happy. Hm.... creepy. And then the people answering weren't much better, offering up ideas and alternatives for the guy. It took 5 answers before someone was like WTF dude, you're a freak! What do you want with little girls? But all the same, yeah, I laughed and took a picture.

Last but certainly not least, a submission from my friend Celi. She tells me she has something for the blog, and sends me a picture of something she came across....butt condoms.... in the dollar tree no less. Her reaction was like O_O Whoa! so she text'd me the pictured. Hmm... as I sat there, eyebrow raised, and considered this oddity, I was thoroughly amused. I mean... there's condoms for both males and females to wear... why not condoms for anal intercourse? Sure... butt sex should be safe sex, too. But what got me... what really really got me... as that they're called "Toosh", and show a shot of a chick in a string bikini on the front, her string flossing her cheeks. Wow... wow. That's great stuff. So awesome. I had to include this because its... well... epic. Yes, yes indeed. Man. Someone needs better marketing strategies... >_>

So.. that concludes this entry. What a finale, ey? But yeah, I'll try to update sooner this time. We'll see what I can find... Anyway, I'm gonna go like... do...stuff. Peace. -insert Kiko voice-


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