Friday, April 26, 2013

We Hath Returned...with Robots.

SO... needless to say, it's been a long time. I could give you some long explanation, but... I'm not going to. That would be a waste of my time and mean a loss of your attention span. (SQUIRREL!... I know at least half of you know exactly what I'm talking about.) One this I will address- the new layout. Space robots. Yes.. I like them. Anyway, it's time for the the new entry.. yayyyyy -arm flailing Kermit style-

So first on our list is call the 'Air-Curler'... innovative new beauty styling tool that takes away from the hassles of every day hair care, and gives you full, luscious curls without burning yourself on that pesky ole curling iron.. or so the infomercial boasts. Thus goes the commercial:

Now, when I saw this commercial, after I stopped laughing, I was quickly reminded of this wonderful classic:

And...I think with providing that comparison, I have more an explained where I see the WTF-factor for the Air Curler. If I have to explain this to you any further, you probably shouldn't be reading this blog. : |

Okay so moving on, next is a LOVELY little addition to the world of 'Toys That Should Never Be Made'. In this addition, We are introduced to game of 'Doggie Doo'. First... see for yourself. And yes, this is real.

Someone please tell me... when did playing with dog crap become a pleasurable fun-time activity? I mean, call me old school here- but... that's just gross! And the sound it makes... wow. The first time I saw this commercial, I was pretty convinced that it was a joke product from an SNL skit. Lo and behold... it's not. What has this world come to? I'll tell you... a place where playing with dog shit makes kids go WEEE!

And now, to tie up our first re-launch post, I bring you... the homey gnomes. I was ambling through
Walgreens and I saw these guys. I felt a rampant onset of a variety of emotions- vague confusion, amusement, annoyance, again... confusion. It reminds me of back in 90's when they started dressing Looney Tunes characters in 'hip-hop gear'. Bugs and Taz in their sagging pants, Cross-Colors and backwards hats. Some things.... like Looney Tunes characters and garden gnomes... are never meant to be 'hip'. So just stop it, people. RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT! Just stop it. No more of this updating-classic-things-in-order-to-fit-'new'-trends business. We've all had enough! In case you haven't noticed, the 90's has been over for a very long time.

So here comes the end to our glorious return. Triumphant? We'll see.  Alright alright... I'm done for now. Until next time my misanthropic minions, I bid you adieu. Time for secret ninja stuff.

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