Saturday, September 12, 2009

Did you miss me? No? Well foog you! Read, dammit.

So... I said that there wouldn't be so much time between blog posts from now on. Well... I lied. But I admit to it, so you can't chastise me for it. So...HA! IN YOUR FACE! BOOYAH! -ahem- I mean.. uh... yeah, so I started a new job, and went back to school, so things have been kind of busy. Okay, so really in I have virtually no free time and .... anyway, nevermind, I'm posting now, so that's what matters, right? Right.

Okay, so here we go. My first sample tonight is actually an update of a previous post. If you've read this blog before (or have used the Facebook gift application) you're familiar with the "Hillbilly Drive-Thru". I had taken that picture last semester, and hadn't been to that Mc Donald's again since then. Now mind you, this is six months later, so you'd figure that they might've fixed it by now, right? Well, I'd think so at least. And they did...sort of. They upgraded from cardboard to cinderblocks. Okay so... I know that times are hard, and businesses are failing left and right... but...cinderblocks? Now THAT is classy. classy. Really, I have to thank them because it gives me and anyone who reads this something to laugh about. Only in Oroville. And if you live anywhere near Oroville, I suggest you take a gander at the Hillbilly Drive-Thru Deluxe.

Moving on, the next tidbit comes from a page in a catalog my mother recieved in the mail. It was one of those general product catalogs with everything from kitschy home decor (you know, a cookie jar shaped like a rooster, a deer antler hat rack), to sex toys (yeah, sex toys). I was flipping through the pages, slightly amused at some of the content, and the variety there of, when I came across something that about had me doubled-over. It was an exercize 'machine' for your neck... to lessen neck fat and tone neck muscles, concentrating under the chin area. Uh... what? Hm... I ... I don't get it. I mean, okay I get what its meant to do.. and I even saw a video clip online of women putting this thing under their chin and bobbing their heads up and down like a hooker on crack, but still....why? Okay, so you don't want a fat neck... I guess that's understandable? But... what...the....hell? Now, as you see from the screen cap this thing looks more like a sex toy than some sex toys! And it has all these springy things and an instructional video! How can it be that complicated?! Apparently, it is. They claim it works, but I think I'll just stick to not turning myself into a bobble-head for the sake of neck slimness.

And on to my last little bit of WTF sunshine. This product both amused and disturbed me when I first became aware of it's existence. When someone first mentioned it, I didn't believe them. In fact I thought they were joking. But no...they weren't These really exist... and you can get them in either pink or blue, for any size dog, two for the price of one! : D What? No! I refuse to put my pet in this ridiculous blanket with arms thing! The little video they have on the website shows the demonstrators struggling to put dogs in sweaters, talking about the difficulty of said task. Are you tired of shoving your pets legs through four different, hard to reach holes? No.. I'm not..because i don't put clothes on my dog! I know some people do to keep their pets warm.. granted, if you live in a climate where it snows, you might want to give your pet an extra layer. I would, but I guess some people might prefer to. But Snuggies...for dogs?! Stop this madness! I mean, the Snuggies for people were bad enough...looking like the uniform for a new spawing of the Heaven's Gate cult... but now Fido can join you in your quest to the great beyond! GAH! Don't drink the kool-aid, Rover. And run away from the Snuggies. Better yet, take a big dump it and leave it on your owner's pillow. Yeah.

Anyway, that's all I have to say about that. (Box of chocolate? Sure.) I'm done ranting about all the WTF bullshit, and I'm tired of typing. So.... now its time for.... you got it, secret ninja stuff. I'm out. Peace ya'll.
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