Wednesday, July 29, 2009

-quack- I'm a duck. A ninja duck. What? I don't know! Read!

Here we are again for another entry of lovely WTF blog. Are you ready for another titillatingly humorous adventure into the realm of the written word? : D Okay, maybe not. However, I'm still going to post it, whether you like it or not! >:O Heh... and awayyyy we go...

On her last trip up, my best friend Sarah and I made a little trip to the dollar store. I don't remember what I was going there for in the first place, but we came across a few interesting finds. One of those items is the first on today's agenda. Now, I had come across this some time ago, and had to make it part of a post for this blog. A pregnancy test...from the dollar store. Hm... something tells me that if you're trying to figure out whether or not you're with child... that a you just don't skimp on some things. And this test doesn't come up with a (-) Negative or a (+) Positive sign as the result... it shows up a (?) instead. Because they're like "You want to know if you're pregnant? Then spend more than a dollar on a test, jerk!" Lolz... Okay, so maybe not everyone can afford to spend a lot more than that because of their limited budget... I get that. But this is just a little too much. I think even Scrooge McDuck would be up for spending more than a dollar.

Now moving on, the next item is an interesting one. This was provided by an anonymous source from the pizza place he works at. He thought I would be rather amused by this item, and infact I was. Really, at first, I was kind of confused. I was like... its a party hat... with...pepperoni..on it...? o_O For real? After getting over my confusion I was thouroughly amused. Nah... its seems to me that a pizza place, and they went with the business theme. I get that. Makes sense, right? Sure... but its literally like a picture of pizza, stretched over the shape of the party hat. You can see the oil from the meat and cheese glistening on the surface. Nothing says happy party time like wearing a greazy pizza hat on my head! Hmmmmm.... maybe its just me, but for real... WTF? Yeah. When I went to take a picture of this lovely piece of headwear, I used the kitchen because it had better lighting. My brother saw the hat and said "WTF is that?!" Hahaha...classic. And so perfect too. When I showed it to my mother, her response? "Oh lord... I hope that you're putting that in your blog." Of course I am! So there we go.

Last but not least for this entry is an amusing oddity that I came across while flipping through a catalog. It's a digital camera that can be hung from your pet's collar, and it takes pictures at timed intervals (you can set it for 5, 10, or 15 minutes). The advertisement boasts about being able to "Find out what your pets are up to all day!" And gives examples of things that "Fido" might see on his daily adventures. With an easy USB connectivity (cable included with purchase), you can simply hook up the cable to your computer and upload the pictures. Quick and easy! Yeah! ....what? o_o So... I'm supposed to pay you...30 dollars+, for a camera .... to find out what my pets do all day? I know what my pets do all day! They sleep, eat, occasionally knock things over/get into places they don't belong, and maybe, if they're feeling adventurous, sniff around the yard. Seriously, wtf? If your pets are anything like mine, they would make it their mission to remove and destroy this item. And I mean... 30 dolllars is a lot of money to pay just to see what your pets are getting into. Maybe if this was on sale at the dollar store, I'd consider it a worthwhile investment.

Okay, well, thus concludes our latest adventure in the land of WTF. I shall return once more to provide my readers with more raised eyebrows and LOLs. Oh! Now it's time for me to return to my secret ninja stuff. Woot.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

WTF FTW! LOL OMG! Okay.. enough freakin'

So I'm back for another installment. I haven't been updating as regularly as I first did, but I had to locate the material I wanted (e.g. I needed to find my old cell phone that had some good wtf examples on it). Annnnnyway, so yeah, I'm back with more. W00t.

First on the list this week is an interesting version of a rubber duck I came across in a thrift store one day. When I first saw it, I really was like 'What the....?' o_O PMS Duck? But...why? I mean... I really don't know the point or the history behind these 'Celibriducks' as they call them. And I'm not sure if it's meant to parody a particular celebrity... or if its just being 'funny'. I can't really tell? But all I do know is...that's a scary rubber duck. Personally I wouldn't want that floating with me in the bathtub. I can see why it ended up on the shelf of a thirft store. Look at her face! It's all weird and freaky looking... and I would say this is an insult to women, stereotyping negative female behavioral patterns... however... it's too funny to really get that bent out of shape over. It says on the package to 'Bathe Different'. I'm not sure what it means, but I don't want to know, if that scary ass duck woman is involved. >_>

Moving on... our next fine example is of a product called "Zim's Crack Cream."I initially came across this product in a drug store, and my mother was kind enough to take a picture of it when she walked by it during a recent visit to the same store. The name itself says it all.... crack cream. Okay, so its for dry, damaged skin. I get that. But... crack cream? It's kind of funny to me that they didn't think about the hilarity of this when trying to name the product. Is that really the best they could come up with? I guess so. What's funnier to me about this particular picture is that this tube boasts an extra percentage of crack cream, so you get more for your money. More cream for your cracks! Heh.... creamy cracks. Ew.

Last but not least comes one of my favorite WTF of all time...a 'warning' on the side of a moving van. I don't recall who sent me this one, as it was a long time ago, but I believe it was my bff Sarah B. You see, we have a long running habit of sending each other WTF pictures simply for our own amusement, long before I created this blog. (Actually, said practice is kind of what led to the creation of it in the first place). ANYWAY... yeah... the point of the ad is to prevent people from doing hazardous things, as injury might occur. Yet... they do so by showing a huge, blown up picture on the side of a truck that happens to present a hilarious graphic. So, rather than preventing it, they're proving viewers not only with someone hazardous to do, but an illustration of just how they might improperly utilize packing tape. "Packing tape should not be used for painful practical jokes." Seriously? Come ON now.. let's be real. You're showing me a funny picture of a dude who wrapped tape around his friend's head, and saying that? All you're going to accomplish with that is to make people go "Hahaha! I should totally do that to someone!" Yeah.
Good stuff.

So, on that note, I shall conclude this installment. Hopefully I'll get the gumption to post another update sooner than I have been, recently... but no promises. Afterall, if I promise, then I'll have to do it...and I don't like feeling obligated. When I'm obligated, I get rebellious. That's right. I'm a rebel. Rawr.

Okay... time for me to go do secret ninja things. Peace.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I hath return! Rejoice! ...No? Ah, foog it. Just read.

It's been a few weeks since I put up and entry, but I had my reasons. First, I was without internet for a week. Then I got wrapped up in recording some new music, so the blog took a backseat. Anyway, I'm back for another lovely adventure into the land of WTF moments. First a couple of updates:

The egg- It's still there. I don't think it's gonna hatch, and if it doesn't I'm not sure I want to see what comes out of it.

The peanuts- It was the blue jays! They're stealing peanuts from somewhere, sitting up in the tree near my garden and dropping peanuts in. There's a baseball park not far away, so I assume that's where they're getting them from. Anyway, peanut mystery solved.

SO... now on to our next installment.

One night I was sitting talking to J. and he's telling me about this commercial he saw for this thing called the 'Comfort Wipe', and how he was totally like O_O! WTF?! when he saw it. Apparently this handy little object allows for one to wipe their bum after 'relieving' themselves. It boasts 'Never touch a dirty toilet tissue again!' Hm... uh... what about the toilet tissue you drop when the 'grip' of this product fails and you drop the 'dirty toilet tissue'? Or what about when you can't figure out how to use the goddamn thing and end up poking yourself in the bumhole when you're trying to use it? Or again, when you drop the tissue cuz you can't hold the frickin' thing right? Now, okay... so this kind of product is generally marketed to senior citizens or those with physical disabilities as an item of convenience that will aid them in areas where they might have trouble. Sure.. I get that, but the commercial had people of all ages in it. So... now we can't even wipe our own asses? Wow. I think we've all gotten a little too lazy.

And... moving on... another interesting tidbit. Well, maybe its not, but it made me blink and tilt my head in confusion. I was kind of bored and started looking up random things on Yahoo Answers. I decided to put in 'unicorns' and I came across this... "How do I make my own unicorn?" I was like Um... what? Seriously? o_o I mean, I figure that it's probably someone fucking around and being funny, but it scared me a little that the dude might be serious. He asks about a prostetic horn to put on a horse or a goat, and how little girls love unicorns, how they make them happy. Hm.... creepy. And then the people answering weren't much better, offering up ideas and alternatives for the guy. It took 5 answers before someone was like WTF dude, you're a freak! What do you want with little girls? But all the same, yeah, I laughed and took a picture.

Last but certainly not least, a submission from my friend Celi. She tells me she has something for the blog, and sends me a picture of something she came across....butt condoms.... in the dollar tree no less. Her reaction was like O_O Whoa! so she text'd me the pictured. Hmm... as I sat there, eyebrow raised, and considered this oddity, I was thoroughly amused. I mean... there's condoms for both males and females to wear... why not condoms for anal intercourse? Sure... butt sex should be safe sex, too. But what got me... what really really got me... as that they're called "Toosh", and show a shot of a chick in a string bikini on the front, her string flossing her cheeks. Wow... wow. That's great stuff. So awesome. I had to include this because its... well... epic. Yes, yes indeed. Man. Someone needs better marketing strategies... >_>

So.. that concludes this entry. What a finale, ey? But yeah, I'll try to update sooner this time. We'll see what I can find... Anyway, I'm gonna go like... do...stuff. Peace. -insert Kiko voice-
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