Mac & Cheese Addiction is Serious Stuff

So...here we are again. And yes...so soon, isn't it? Well, I'm making an honest effort here to keep up-to-date. So no snide remarks, okay? (Who am I kidding? It's you guys...) ANYWAY- on to the show. Er...blog... whatever!

Now, we've all had those experiences where we're watching t.v. and there's a commercial that makes us raise an eyebrow. This one in particular made me laugh, not because of the commercial itself...but what it was parodying. Kraft has definitely touched on a bit of dark humor here. They took n 1980's PSA about 'Saying No to Drugs' and turned a joke on it. Here is the commercial in question:

Now if you don't don't remember what it is that they're parodying, let me provide you the reference:

Sooooo... yeah. Interesting marketing technique, Kraft. Take something that was once meant to be a deterrent for young people to NOT do drugs, and turn it into a macaroni and cheese commercial. Personally, I'm not offended at all. In fact, I think it's pretty hilarious... however... it's still a pretty f*cked up marketing ploy. That's some WTF for you right there.

Moving on, my next fine example of WTF-edness a lovely little still that I took some time ago. Living in the area I live in, I'm used to seeing 'western' or 'cowboy' themed decor. (Yes there are these sorts living in California.) This particular sign wasn't really different or unique in it's design or theme. Really, I'd of normally just passed it over with a glance and not thought of it again. HOWEVER... as you can see... what is seemingly intended to be "Don't Rope Me In!" has turned into something very different indeed, thanks for a font faux pas. You know... I'm not sure who oversees quality control for this company... but I would think that something that looks like 'Rape' instead of the intended 'Rope' just might be something that raises a red flag. If not... they're either very careless, or have  bit of a sick sense of humor.

And this brings us to our last example of the day. Some of you might remember this commercial from 2011, but surprisingly  a lot of people I've ever mentioned it to had never actually seen the commercial. It's one of those commercials where 1. You definitely don't forget it if you see it, and 2. Remember nothing about what they were actually advertising because ...well.... I'll just let you see for yourselves:

 Soooo... yeahhhh.... o_o ..Can we say 'flag for inappropriate content'? I think so. But admittedly, it's pretty funny. Though the whole scene is reminiscent of things which most of us would rather not associate with our food. I find it especially funny when the girlfriend gives the O_O face and covers up the eyes of her innocent teddy bear. But... the mustard... all over the face.... ewwwwww.... Get  napkin, man.

Here we are at the end of another glorious journey into the land of Lulz and WTF-edness. I shall return soon to bring you more X D and more o_O ... and all those other emotions best expressed in text-based emoticons.

Until next time, off to do my secret ninja stuff.

We Hath Returned...with Robots.

SO... needless to say, it's been a long time. I could give you some long explanation, but... I'm not going to. That would be a waste of my time and mean a loss of your attention span. (SQUIRREL!... I know at least half of you know exactly what I'm talking about.) One this I will address- the new layout. Space robots. Yes.. I like them. Anyway, it's time for the the new entry.. yayyyyy -arm flailing Kermit style-

So first on our list is call the 'Air-Curler'... innovative new beauty styling tool that takes away from the hassles of every day hair care, and gives you full, luscious curls without burning yourself on that pesky ole curling iron.. or so the infomercial boasts. Thus goes the commercial:

Now, when I saw this commercial, after I stopped laughing, I was quickly reminded of this wonderful classic:

And...I think with providing that comparison, I have more an explained where I see the WTF-factor for the Air Curler. If I have to explain this to you any further, you probably shouldn't be reading this blog. : |

Okay so moving on, next is a LOVELY little addition to the world of 'Toys That Should Never Be Made'. In this addition, We are introduced to game of 'Doggie Doo'. First... see for yourself. And yes, this is real.

Someone please tell me... when did playing with dog crap become a pleasurable fun-time activity? I mean, call me old school here- but... that's just gross! And the sound it makes... wow. The first time I saw this commercial, I was pretty convinced that it was a joke product from an SNL skit. Lo and behold... it's not. What has this world come to? I'll tell you... a place where playing with dog shit makes kids go WEEE!

And now, to tie up our first re-launch post, I bring you... the homey gnomes. I was ambling through

Walgreens and I saw these guys. I felt a rampant onset of a variety of emotions- vague confusion, amusement, annoyance, again... confusion. It reminds me of back in 90's when they started dressing Looney Tunes characters in 'hip-hop gear'. Bugs and Taz in their sagging pants, Cross-Colors and backwards hats. Some things.... like Looney Tunes characters and garden gnomes... are never meant to be 'hip'. So just stop it, people. RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT! Just stop it. No more of this updating-classic-things-in-order-to-fit-'new'-trends business. We've all had enough! In case you haven't noticed, the 90's has been over for a very long time.


So here comes the end to our glorious return. Triumphant? We'll see.  Alright alright... I'm done for now. Until next time my misanthropic minions, I bid you adieu. Time for secret ninja stuff.

HAPPY TURKEY GENOCIDE DAY! Now read this sh*t!

Gobblegobblef*ckin'gobble. Hello my dear readers. So, it's been some time, and I know you've missed me dearly. D'awwwww! <3 Alas, I didn't miss you.... KIDDING! I totally did! (maybe). Anyway, before you curse me any further... on to the blog! : D

So I was looking through Google Image Search (a fun pastime for many, many bored individuals), for a Thanksgiving graphic, and I came across some pretty weird stuff. (And that was with the safety search ON, thankfully.) I decided that I should do a little WTF Salute to Thanksgiving (or known affectionately to me as Turkey Genocide Day. :D)

First up on was this rather odd, yet very festive Turkey costume. It was actually on HOW-TO page for homemade costumes. Hmm.. okay so, I guess I can see that there's occasions where one might dress as a turkey. There's always that kid that has to dress up like the turkey for the holiday play. I guess what's more so disturbing to me is that he's not really dressed AS a turkey...but rather IN a turkey.


If that wasn't odd enough, then I came across a Victorian type, old-timey Thanksgiving graphic of a child's face in the mouth of a turkey.. however this one looked like an ACTUAL turkey..and not just a goofy-ass costume. One thing...WHY?! I mean, the costume, okay, kids play, pagent, parade, etc... but... nevermind. There's no explaining this one. Hmm.....This human-stuffed turkey deal weirded me out just a little. >_>

Following the human-stuffed turkeys was this really weird hat... its a turkey hat, as you can see.. or more of a turkey headress, maybe? Yeah, whatever you want to call it, it's just atrocious. I'm not really sure WHY anyone would ever wear a hat like this while sober, but this lady looks pretty happy to be doing so. I dunno... call me weird, but like...the idea of having a turkey on my head as a fashion statement doesn't sound like the way to go. I've heard of being festive, but this borders on looney tunes. I know I know to each their own..blahblahblah. I still think it looks weird and its FUGLY. :3

So one last thing for this holiday-themed blog entry... an oldie but goodie picture passed from email to email, posted to countless Facebook walls, and forwarded again and again to cell phones everywhere.... the classic WTF Sesame Street Thanksgiving picture. If you haven't seen it before, I'm not sure where you've been (not on this planet maybe?). But for those of you that have, you can laugh, shake your head, roll your eyes, and/or smirk at viewing it once again. Oh Big Bird...you should have known better than to follow Gordon in the back of Mr. Hooper's store while he was holding a meat cleaver.. And two things about this picture....
1. Bert looks super excited.. he was always all about pigeons...and I'm gathering it was because he likes to EAT them. In that case, he's been eyeing the big yellow guy for some time thinking 'MAN... I so gotta eat that bird!'  and then
2. Why is it that Oscar seems to be the only one that 's a big disturbed by their giant yellow feathered friend is being served up for a holiday meal? He's like Wow...really? That won't stop him from eating it.. but well you know, at least he was like WTF dude..? Anyway, all in all, it's Muppet Cannibalism at it's best. :]

And now I close and provide you with a grand Thanksgiving tribute that exemplifies the true spirit of Thankgiving, as delivered by The Addams family. :) Eat up, mofos!

So like...yeah...More... Stuff....and Junk. Yeah. >_>

Hello fellow WTF-ers! ...wait... that sounds awkward...should I delete it? Nah. Why? Cuz it's funny. Anyway, so yeah, another edition coming you way. Are you excited?! Do you feel so excited you might pee yourself?! Well you should dammit! Cuz this is funny shit! But please... refrain from peeing on the carpet.. I just had it cleaned. ... What? Hell if I know! Anyway, read dammit. (Oh and note- links are provided to larger versions of the pictures, for your viewing pleasure. :3)

Tap that Sass!

First up is a lovely pair of items that every home needs...or not. Old people bobbleheads... Hmmm. And not only are they old people bobbleheads....but one is displayed on the crapper, and the other is... a... seductive..old ...lady... wuhhhh? Okay, yeah... kinda creepy, but way funny. Tap that Sass? The HELL?! Haha wow.. I have to thank my BFF for sending this my way. I was like 'that's so going in my blog' and she was like 'That's why I sent it to you.' See? That's why we're BFFs..because we have a sick sense of humor and BFF ESP. Totally. But yeah... I don't know who would want to 'Tap that Sass', but I don't want to meet the person that does.  >_>

Next is a great example of the 'quick and easy' ideology that exists in American culture, combined with the ridiculous things people will do in homage to their favorite stars...and both come in the form of temporary tattoos. The first notion was brought on by, yet another, dollar store find. Temporary Jewelry Tattoos... yeah. As if the world doesn't have enough trashy in it... bring on the the stick-on necklaces! Wow. So, I'm kinda banking on the fact that most people would say 'NO' to this, but...you know that there are people out there that are totally walking around with this shit on, thinking it looks good. And that brings me to the other example... Celebrity tattoos. Now these were a freebie on a teeny-bopper magazine, so it's not completely odd...but still weird. So.. yeah.. apparently it's totally cool to pre-teens to have a dozen depictions of Bieber's head pasted onto your body. Really? And not just Bieber...throw in some Gaga, a little Twilight..some Willow Smith... wait what? Will Smith's daughter? Okay.. I'm done.

Next is a dish that kinda threw me for a loop. Now okay.. I know it's not actually referring to prostitutes, but...when something has 'hooker' in the title, that's the first thing most people will think of. Yeah, sure, it was name after someone with the last name 'Hooker', but really....Hooker's Picnic Macaroni Salad? Call me silly, but I'd rather not ingest something that's got 'hooker' in the title, especially if it includes a creamy white substance...

    

Finally, we have a duo of items that are sure to make your

wine drinking experience fantastically complete. First, make sure you have your wine glass cozy. Yes.. I said wine glass cozy. This is what I like to call 'classy trashy'. And they even have funny little quips to give you a chuckle as your sipping on your top grade wine! Oh... how clever they are. And the name is just great... Woozie Wine Koozies. Whaaat? That's just lulz. 

And then something we all need is a proper apparatus for opening said wine bottles (though if you're using a wine cozy, you might have chosen the screw cap or wine-in-a-box varieties). And what better...than a wine bottle opener that has a little boy as the handle, and the corkscrew being his.... Whoa! The hell, man?! This is like some weird-ass ancient Greece, pedo-bear shit! A friend sent me this one via text and I, literally, said What the...?! Man...brings a whole new meaning to the term corkscrew. Double Lulz...

So there we have it folks...another edition come and gone. Hopefully you got some laughs, and decide that it's worthy of passing on to your friends and loved ones. Even if you didn't get any laughs, I did, so it was totally worth it. Yeah...that's right! I don't NEED you! D:< Pssht...  Just messin'. Well, sorta. Anyway, my friends, I must depart for now. Until next time, wait patiently, on baited breath for my return. ; D

Time for secret ninja stuff. 

WTF: San Francisco Edition. And you KNOW THIS, man!

Hello my adoring public...I have decided to once again return and grace you with my presence.What...what did you just say to me? Don't you give me that look! I'll turn this blog right around,mister/miss/whatever! I won't put up with such insolence! I'll...I'll...Ah foog it...just read.

So about a week ago, my BFF and I took a day trip to San Francisco. She was up from L.A. and we wanted to make the most of it. It's only a couple hours away from our hometown, so we took a ride over to The City. As always, The City provided a vast array of picture opportunities, but of course, some provided more of a WTF vibe than others. Being that I came across a number of these, I decided that it was time for WTF blog: San Francisco Edition. We spent most of our time on Haight, and now my story of our adventure begins... (Note: The first word of each paragraph links to a full size version of that picture.)

First up was a random picture I saw when looking in a store window. It's not horribly abnormal or strange, but well... it kind of caught me off guard. You see, normally, I'm quite the fan of pandas, especially the cartoony variety. But this guy...he kinda scared me. He looks all spun out and ravenous. And those teeth... They eat bamboo! They're not supposed to have jagged-ass, scary shark teeth! It's just wrong, man.

Next on the list was a sign I spied at the Ben & Jerry's at the Haight-Ashbury corner. When I first saw it, I chuckled because it kinda of looked like they were saying 'Handicapped and babies GET OUT!' I had to take a picture

because even the very idea that there would be such a sign that might suggest such a thing made me laugh. Of course, it was actually a sign signifying that there was another entrance to the store on the other side that were handicap and stroller accessible. Then again, they put that in itttty bitty print that you had to walk straight up to the sign to even barely read. So, I'm kind of thinking that there was just a small margin of hope that people would think it meant GTFO ROLLIES! If it was, that would be pretty jacked up. But someone might, y'know? Just sayin'.

Third on the ticket was something that made me giggle a little. These colorful little pops are quintessential San Francisco. Bright, shiny, and full of counter-culture reference. It's not the pops themselves that made me WTF.. it was the little informatory statement in parenthesis that made me laugh. "NO, NOT LSD!" What's funny is, you know a bunch of people had to of asked if they were LSD pops in order for them to even bother putting that on there. Yeah... cuz they totally sell hardcore hallucinogens in gifts shops. Then again.. it is San Francisco, and we were on Haight.

And last but certainly not list is Mr. San Francisco himself... old ass hippie man dressed from head to toe in tye-dye.

This was just too fantastic to pass up. We had stopped at a Mc D's for something to drink, and this guy was a fellow patron. That was right along side the spun-out punker that asked me to buy him a hamburger. And then there was the fabulicious, gender ambiguous being that was dressed like the bastard child of the Let's Get Physical (Olivia Newton John) and Bad (Michael Jackson) videos. Man...he was fantabulocity defined. I saw sad I couldn't get his picture. But Old-ass Hippieman will certainly do.

So, it was a good day, and we had some fun. Thanks again BFF for the much needed day out, and the great opportunity for blog material. Oh, and that knobby-kneed drag queen in Union Square... I hope we see her again so we can tell her how lovely she is. Anyway kiddos, I'm f*ckin' out. Totally time for secret ninja stuff.

Wait wait... I had to share one last thing... I took a picture of the Haight-Ashbury sign for kicks, but got this girl's face in the picture. It totally looks all weird and creepy. She looks a lil...special. Anyway, I have to share, cuz I was like WTF is up with HER?

Honey, I'm hoooooooooooome!

So....I'm back. It's been awhile... like... 7 month long while. You totally missed me, didn't you? It's okay to admit it...I can see the tears of joy welling in your eyes upon seeing that I have returned. What? You missed the blog and not me? Pssht- bleep you mothableeper! Kidding! Well..maybe... anyway, just read the stinkin' blog. -__-

So first up is a lovely little hair product that just screams BUY ME! But did I? No... Why? Because it's called Moco de Gorilla...properly translated.. Gorilla Snot. Okay so I've seen/heard of shampoo made with horse placenta...soap made from donkey's milk... and there are a variety of products that use various animal parts/excretions. But none made me go 'ewww' like this one. Granted, it's not really made from the snot of a gorilla..bt the very notion makes me a little queasy. I mean...so like...the point of the name is that it promotes that it's so tough and works so well that it's just like gorilla snot? First of all, I don't want to know how they know just how well gorilla snot works as hair gel, and secondly, I'm just not sold. My question still is...WHYYYY? Anyway...Moving on...

This is a great example of what kind of example modern society's usage of technology sets for the youth of today. It's like they were just waiting for me to find this so I could post it here.

Seriously... Babie with webcam in her boobs? Well that's just fantastic. For just under 50 dollars, little girls everywhere can learn how to be a cam whore, and have fun with it too! But well, to be fair they did put a 6+ age suggestion. We don't want them starting in kindergarten, after all. I mean, really... 6 is totally the right age to start camming it up online. I still snicker every time i see this picture solely because the camera is in her boobs and there's a huge arrow pointing at it. This is like one of those joke products from a commercial skit on SNL. Kinda sad, but totally lulz.

BARBIE BOOB CAM! Man...

And last but not certainly least, the pièce de résistance for this entry... I was walking out of CVS one evening, and caught a glimpse of this bike sitting in the bike rack. The owner was no where to be found, so I took the opportunity to snap a picture of this lovely display of human behavior.

The owner of the bike decided that the water bottle holder on his bike was perfect for a 32 oz bottle of Heineken. Oh, but wait! Why waste space?! There's a baby seat too... BAM..a place for two more bottles of beer. Classic. I laughed a whole lot at this, and sent it to a few people. My favorite response was 'Wow. Daddy AND baby really know how to party." I only hope that the baby wasn't actually with him and made to hold the beer bottles during the ride home. Gotta love American culture!

(Click here to see the full size picture.)

So, for now, my lovelies, I must depart. But fear not, for I shall return soon. I know, I know...you're thinking 'you said that before!' Well... technically, I did come back...just not for a long time. However, I do intend to post again soon. When? I won't tell you that, me being a ninja and all. Never know when I'll strike! *fierceness* So be patient, and try not to cry too much. And if you don't like my non-committal answer, tough! ;D

For now, I'm out. Time for secret ninja stuff.

Oh...its been so very long...

-Ahem- So...some time ago I said I was going to do more frequent entries...try to update the blog on a more regular basis... obviously, I lied. Well, not so much lied as 1) Sort of ran out of material and 2) pure laziness. Yes, I admit it. Got a problem?! Oh well. I'm too apathetic to start an argument. But yeah, here's your damn entry... Are you happy now?! WELL YOU SHOULD BE...cuz I wrote a new blog! : D

Annnnnnnyway...moving on, it's time to get to the good part. :3

So first up to bat is something most of us have seen before...nipple concealers. Nothing new, perfectly functional, but funny nevertheless. What really brought on the WTF with this item

was the description at the bottom... "Magical Solution Breast Petals". I had to laugh... breast petals? Why not just call them what they are? Nipple covers. Maybe that sounds a little vulgar, but seriously, breast petals? And I like how it says "Easy to put on...Easier to take off."

I can almost hear the suggestive tone of the token cartoony 80's 'glamor girl' on the package.

And the actual model looks strangely reminiscent of a shot of a girl on one of those 'barely legal' porn sites. Scary. So yeah... if you have trouble concealing your nipples, get yourself some breast petals...they're the magical solution. Yeah...

Annnnd next on my list... a toothpick holder/olive plate done in the style of a voodoo doll. Hm... this disturbed me on SO many levels. Now, I've seen an array of products that are similar in nature... like Mr. Ouch, the voodoo doll toothpick holder, and The Ex knife set.

(See how I provided those links there? Tha

t was totally slick.) Anyway, so yeah, both of these products are humorous in nature, and definitely have their own WTF qualifications.

However... just something about a voodoo doll toothpick holder AND olive plate... that was just a little much for me. It's kinda like... you're at a gathering, there's a food spread, and you think 'Hmm I think I'd like an olive." So you go to reach for an olive, and... low and behold... a voodoo doll holder...thing... say whaaaaaat? I dunno. I suppose all of these products are equally odd and humorous, but, the olive tray/toothpick holder combo really set the bar for me. I mean, this thing looks like something that would be sitting around at a dinner party with the Addams family. Lovely. (I really do think it's lovely, and I kind of want one.)

And last, but certainly not least, is another installment in Dollar Store Finds. Have you ever wondered what would happen if a gorilla and a sheep mated? No? Me either. And you know why? No one should...EVER. Yet, it seems that someone did. It's like cross-breeding gone horribly wrong, and the result is this strange, strange toy. I mean, okay...its the dollar store. But in what world (or mind) does a gorilla have the body of a sheep? Apparently in the world of whatever weird-ass designed this toy. For realllls man... wow. I think J. said it best with the line "And here we have the newest resident on the Island of Misfit Toys." Oh yeah...definitely. I think even Santa would leave that poor fucker behind. Man oh man.

So there we have it, another entry of the WTFblog. I hope you were throughly amused, and if you weren't...oh well. I was, and that's pretty much the whole point of me bothering to do this. :D

Aight peoples. Secret ninja stuff time.

Alright... it's been a couple months. I've been asked by a few people when I was going to post a new blog, so yeah, I'm doing it now. I could explain my abscense...but... I won't. How about that? Take it! Yeah! -ahem- Anyway, yeah so on to blog entry. >_>

First on the list is something I came across while walking through the drugstore. Now, okay... to be 'fair' I have heard of some pretty odd things that are used as beauty treatments, so I'm not completely surprised to see a box in the beauty section that says "Snail Extract". Not completely surprised...but I still think it's weird. What really gets me about this product is the presentation of it. There's a snail on the box! How is that supposed to entice me to use the product?! I mean... it's a fucking snail! What...are they trying to be like "Yeah, it's made from snail juice. We're serious. Look at this snail." WTF is right. I'm just like, dude, why the snail? Not that I'd want to use it if the snail wasn't there, but still. The hell? The only thing I think when I see that is "Ew...gross!" Yeah, enough said.


So next is a contribution from my friend Rae, who came across this on a recent trip to So Cal. The attempt is pun-ny with a slight innuendo to top it off. Cute. Eat more kitty... hehe....NO. -sigh- Here's the deal. They're being all funny with their sign, trying to get people to eat at their establishment more frequently, but the first thing that comes to mind is the consumption of felines (other than the obvious inuendo they're putting into play). I don't want to eat cats. Infact, I'll remember to never introduce you to my cat. They're just propogating a stereotype. A fucked up stereotype! And aside from that, the secondary offense comes from the fact that they're trying to use that tired-ass inuendo in an attempt to be original. The food might be good, but I can't say I'm down with their advertising. Lame-o.

Last but certainly not least is this extremely bizaare, oh so wrong confection I spied in the store just earlier today. Reindeer Licks! The only pop that licks you back! Um.... it's a giant candy tongue comming out of a plastic reindeer head tube thing. So like... are you supposed to suck on the tongue? The oddly long, bright red tongue of a perplexed/psychotic looking reindeer? o_o Maybe its just me, but there is so much wrong with that. With push-up pop action! And protective plastic cone! it boasts. Whoa... Man.. I can't even, like, process this. I showed this picture to a couple of people and they were speechless. One response was described as 'a gamut of emotions and none of them is good.' Wow... wow. At the same time, I'm insanely amused... but more disturbed. Maybe equally both. All the same... I couldn't leave this out. It was way, way too perfect and the exact inspiration I needed to get me to write a new entry. So yeah... wow. I think I'm gonna pass on sucking on a reindeer's tongue, candy or not.

Well, I don't have anything else to say for now. I'll write something again soon...maybe. No promises. If I promise something, then you might expect me to live up to it, and I might disappoint you. So...uh...yeah. Back to my secret ninja stuff. -out-

Did you miss me? No? Well foog you! Read, dammit.

So... I said that there wouldn't be so much time between blog posts from now on. Well... I lied. But I admit to it, so you can't chastise me for it. So...HA! IN YOUR FACE! BOOYAH! -ahem- I mean.. uh... yeah, so I started a new job, and went back to school, so things have been kind of busy. Okay, so really busy...as in I have virtually no free time and .... anyway, nevermind, I'm posting now, so that's what matters, right? Right.


Okay, so here we go. My first sample tonight is actually an update of a previous post. If you've read this blog before (or have used the Facebook gift application) you're familiar with the "Hillbilly Drive-Thru". I had taken that picture last semester, and hadn't been to that Mc Donald's again since then. Now mind you, this is six months later, so you'd figure that they might've fixed it by now, right? Well, I'd think so at least. And they did...sort of. They upgraded from cardboard to cinderblocks. Okay so... I know that times are hard, and businesses are failing left and right... but...cinderblocks? Now THAT is classy. So...so... classy. Really, I have to thank them because it gives me and anyone who reads this something to laugh about. Only in Oroville. And if you live anywhere near Oroville, I suggest you take a gander at the Hillbilly Drive-Thru Deluxe.


Moving on, the next tidbit comes from a page in a catalog my mother recieved in the mail. It was one of those general product catalogs with everything from kitschy home decor (you know, a cookie jar shaped like a rooster, a deer antler hat rack), to sex toys (yeah, sex toys). I was flipping through the pages, slightly amused at some of the content, and the variety there of, when I came across something that about had me doubled-over. It was an exercize 'machine' for your neck... to lessen neck fat and tone neck muscles, concentrating under the chin area. Uh... what? Hm... I ... I don't get it. I mean, okay I get what its meant to do.. and I even saw a video clip online of women putting this thing under their chin and bobbing their heads up and down like a hooker on crack, but still....why? Okay, so you don't want a fat neck... I guess that's understandable? But... what...the....hell? Now, as you see from the screen cap this thing looks more like a sex toy than some sex toys! And it has all these springy things and an instructional video! How can it be that complicated?! Apparently, it is. They claim it works, but I think I'll just stick to not turning myself into a bobble-head for the sake of neck slimness.

And on to my last little bit of WTF sunshine. This product both amused and disturbed me when I first became aware of it's existence. When someone first mentioned it, I didn't believe them. In fact I thought they were joking. But no...they weren't These really exist... and you can get them in either pink or blue, for any size dog, two for the price of one! : D What? No! I refuse to put my pet in this ridiculous blanket with arms thing! The little video they have on the website shows the demonstrators struggling to put dogs in sweaters, talking about the difficulty of said task. Are you tired of shoving your pets legs through four different, hard to reach holes? No.. I'm not..because i don't put clothes on my dog! I know some people do to keep their pets warm.. granted, if you live in a climate where it snows, you might want to give your pet an extra layer. I would, but I guess some people might prefer to. But Snuggies...for dogs?! Stop this madness! I mean, the Snuggies for people were bad enough...looking like the uniform for a new spawing of the Heaven's Gate cult... but now Fido can join you in your quest to the great beyond! GAH! Don't drink the kool-aid, Rover. And run away from the Snuggies. Better yet, take a big dump it and leave it on your owner's pillow. Yeah.

Anyway, that's all I have to say about that. (Box of chocolate? Sure.) I'm done ranting about all the WTF bullshit, and I'm tired of typing. So.... now its time for.... you got it, secret ninja stuff. I'm out. Peace ya'll.

Bringing you a NEW, IMPROVED WTF BLOG... not really. It's the same blog, but should read it anyway. -nodnod-

So... yeah. I'm back. It's been a few since my last post, but that's what happens when real life gets in the way of web antics. Blogs are posted late, emails go unread, and Facebook requests go unaccepted (or unignored). And then the world slowly dies, leaving everything and everyone to suffer a long, horrible, and painful death. Damn that real life. But really, yeah, none of that happens. Anyway, I've bored myself into disinterest so I'm going to start the new entry. And away we go...

First on the chopping block is a lovely little handwoven accesory that is sure to match any outfit and/or linoleum flooring. I walked by this purse and had to turn around and look again. I was thinking... is that.... is that purse made like those rugs...? Yeah... they are....like the ones in our kitchen and bathroom. You know... those braided rugs that you can buy at the dollar store? I think everyone has seen those in the house of some relative over the years. What's next? I know...Chip Clips...for your hair! Or pot holder bikinis. Imagine that 4-H project.... >_> But yeah, I didn't get this design at all. Then again, this was in the dollar store, so go figure. Yeah.


Next on the docket is yet another dollar store find. I couldn't resist this one when I saw it. Not to buy, but rather to take a picture of for the purpose of posting it in this blog. Anyway, Cocoa Drops.... what a clever name... considering they actually do look like rabbit droppings. I mean, so do Cocoa Puffs but.... they made the point of not calling them Cocoa Drops, as they probably realized that it might be a severe marketing error to do so. Personally, I'm not inclined to eat cereal that not only looks like animal droppings, but is named in such a way that it reminds me of what it resembles. And the slogan on the front makes me laugh... "Keep it simple! Pay only for taste!" Just exactly what is that supposed to mean? How are Cocoa Drops are any more simple than Cocoa Puffs? Or maybe they mean, don't question what's in it, just so long as it tastes good. It's made out of pig innards and sawdust, but hell, keep it simple! It tastes like sweet cocoa-y goodness, so who gives a shit what's in it, right? Right. Ugh... dude, no way. I'll just stick to staying away from cereal that looks like rabbit poo.

The last sample for this entry is a submission from a reader. He had sent this picture to my cell phone some time ago, but I'd lost it, as it was saved on my old cell phone and not my current cell phone. Anyway, he sent it to me again, and I decided to include it this time around. As you have probably already figured out, this is the warning label on the side of a hot water heater. What I really love about this label is the stickman engulfed in flames. Like the packing tape warning on the side of the moving van, this label might moreso give someone idea rather than detering them from dangerous situations. I like how they labeled the gas vapors, and showed just how one might ignite those flammable vapors, thus causing someone to be engulfed in flames. And really the DANGER sign is a little understated, and ends up being far outshadowed by the picture below. But yeah, you know, whatever. I can't complain too much, seeing as they gave me good material for my blog.

Alright well, that's it for now. It's about time for me to mosey on out and tend to other matters. You know, secret ninja stuff. What secret ninja stuff? I can't tell you that! I mean.. jeez. It's not called secret ninja stuff for nothing. Sheesh. Aight, I'm out.

-quack- I'm a duck. A ninja duck. What? I don't know! Read!

Here we are again for another entry of lovely WTF blog. Are you ready for another titillatingly humorous adventure into the realm of the written word? : D Okay, maybe not. However, I'm still going to post it, whether you like it or not! >:O Heh... and awayyyy we go...

On her last trip up, my best friend Sarah and I made a little trip to the dollar store. I don't remember what I was going there for in the first place, but we came across a few interesting finds. One of those items is the first on today's agenda. Now, I had come across this some time ago, and had to make it part of a post for this blog. A pregnancy test...from the dollar store. Hm... something tells me that if you're trying to figure out whether or not you're with child... that a you just don't skimp on some things. And this test doesn't come up with a (-) Negative or a (+) Positive sign as the result... it shows up a (?) instead. Because they're like "You want to know if you're pregnant? Then spend more than a dollar on a test, jerk!" Lolz... Okay, so maybe not everyone can afford to spend a lot more than that because of their limited budget... I get that. But this is just a little too much. I think even Scrooge McDuck would be up for spending more than a dollar.

Now moving on, the next item is an interesting one. This was provided by an anonymous source from the pizza place he works at. He thought I would be rather amused by this item, and infact I was. Really, at first, I was kind of confused. I was like... its a party hat... with...pepperoni..on it...? o_O For real? After getting over my confusion I was thouroughly amused. Nah... its seems to me that a pizza place, and they went with the business theme. I get that. Makes sense, right? Sure... but its literally like a picture of pizza, stretched over the shape of the party hat. You can see the oil from the meat and cheese glistening on the surface. Nothing says happy party time like wearing a greazy pizza hat on my head! Hmmmmm.... maybe its just me, but for real... WTF? Yeah. When I went to take a picture of this lovely piece of headwear, I used the kitchen because it had better lighting. My brother saw the hat and said "WTF is that?!" Hahaha...classic. And so perfect too. When I showed it to my mother, her response? "Oh lord... I hope that you're putting that in your blog." Of course I am! So there we go.

Last but not least for this entry is an amusing oddity that I came across while flipping through a catalog. It's a digital camera that can be hung from your pet's collar, and it takes pictures at timed intervals (you can set it for 5, 10, or 15 minutes). The advertisement boasts about being able to "Find out what your pets are up to all day!" And gives examples of things that "Fido" might see on his daily adventures. With an easy USB connectivity (cable included with purchase), you can simply hook up the cable to your computer and upload the pictures. Quick and easy! Yeah! ....what? o_o So... I'm supposed to pay you...30 dollars+, for a camera .... to find out what my pets do all day? I know what my pets do all day! They sleep, eat, occasionally knock things over/get into places they don't belong, and maybe, if they're feeling adventurous, sniff around the yard. Seriously, wtf? If your pets are anything like mine, they would make it their mission to remove and destroy this item. And I mean... 30 dolllars is a lot of money to pay just to see what your pets are getting into. Maybe if this was on sale at the dollar store, I'd consider it a worthwhile investment.

Okay, well, thus concludes our latest adventure in the land of WTF. I shall return once more to provide my readers with more raised eyebrows and LOLs. Oh! Now it's time for me to return to my secret ninja stuff. Woot.

WTF FTW! LOL OMG! Okay.. enough freakin' acronyms...read.

So I'm back for another installment. I haven't been updating as regularly as I first did, but I had to locate the material I wanted (e.g. I needed to find my old cell phone that had some good wtf examples on it). Annnnnyway, so yeah, I'm back with more. W00t.

First on the list this week is an interesting version of a rubber duck I came across in a thrift store one day. When I first saw it, I really was like 'What the....?' o_O PMS Duck? But...why? I mean... I really don't know the point or the history behind these 'Celibriducks' as they call them. And I'm not sure if it's meant to parody a particular celebrity... or if its just being 'funny'. I can't really tell? But all I do know is...that's a scary rubber duck. Personally I wouldn't want that floating with me in the bathtub. I can see why it ended up on the shelf of a thirft store. Look at her face! It's all weird and freaky looking... and I would say this is an insult to women, stereotyping negative female behavioral patterns... however... it's too funny to really get that bent out of shape over. It says on the package to 'Bathe Different'. I'm not sure what it means, but I don't want to know, if that scary ass duck woman is involved. >_>






Moving on... our next fine example is of a product called "Zim's Crack Cream."I initially came across this product in a drug store, and my mother was kind enough to take a picture of it when she walked by it during a recent visit to the same store. The name itself says it all.... crack cream. Okay, so its for dry, damaged skin. I get that. But... crack cream? It's kind of funny to me that they didn't think about the hilarity of this when trying to name the product. Is that really the best they could come up with? I guess so. What's funnier to me about this particular picture is that this tube boasts an extra percentage of crack cream, so you get more for your money. More cream for your cracks! Heh.... creamy cracks. Ew.





Last but not least comes one of my favorite WTF of all time...a 'warning' on the side of a moving van. I don't recall who sent me this one, as it was a long time ago, but I believe it was my bff Sarah B. You see, we have a long running habit of sending each other WTF pictures simply for our own amusement, long before I created this blog. (Actually, said practice is kind of what led to the creation of it in the first place). ANYWAY... yeah... the point of the ad is to prevent people from doing hazardous things, as injury might occur. Yet... they do so by showing a huge, blown up picture on the side of a truck that happens to present a hilarious graphic. So, rather than preventing it, they're proving viewers not only with someone hazardous to do, but an illustration of just how they might improperly utilize packing tape. "Packing tape should not be used for painful practical jokes." Seriously? Come ON now.. let's be real. You're showing me a funny picture of a dude who wrapped tape around his friend's head, and saying that? All you're going to accomplish with that is to make people go "Hahaha! I should totally do that to someone!" Yeah.
Good stuff.

So, on that note, I shall conclude this installment. Hopefully I'll get the gumption to post another update sooner than I have been, recently... but no promises. Afterall, if I promise, then I'll have to do it...and I don't like feeling obligated. When I'm obligated, I get rebellious. That's right. I'm a rebel. Rawr.

Okay... time for me to go do secret ninja things. Peace.

I hath return! Rejoice! ...No? Ah, foog it. Just read.

It's been a few weeks since I put up and entry, but I had my reasons. First, I was without internet for a week. Then I got wrapped up in recording some new music, so the blog took a backseat. Anyway, I'm back for another lovely adventure into the land of WTF moments. First a couple of updates:

The egg- It's still there. I don't think it's gonna hatch, and if it doesn't I'm not sure I want to see what comes out of it.

The peanuts- It was the blue jays! They're stealing peanuts from somewhere, sitting up in the tree near my garden and dropping peanuts in. There's a baseball park not far away, so I assume that's where they're getting them from. Anyway, peanut mystery solved.

SO... now on to our next installment.

One night I was sitting talking to J. and he's telling me about this commercial he saw for this thing called the 'Comfort Wipe', and how he was totally like O_O! WTF?! when he saw it. Apparently this handy little object allows for one to wipe their bum after 'relieving' themselves. It boasts 'Never touch a dirty toilet tissue again!' Hm... uh... what about the toilet tissue you drop when the 'grip' of this product fails and you drop the 'dirty toilet tissue'? Or what about when you can't figure out how to use the goddamn thing and end up poking yourself in the bumhole when you're trying to use it? Or again, when you drop the tissue cuz you can't hold the frickin' thing right? Now, okay... so this kind of product is generally marketed to senior citizens or those with physical disabilities as an item of convenience that will aid them in areas where they might have trouble. Sure.. I get that, but the commercial had people of all ages in it. So... now we can't even wipe our own asses? Wow. I think we've all gotten a little too lazy.

And... moving on... another interesting tidbit. Well, maybe its not, but it made me blink and tilt my head in confusion. I was kind of bored and started looking up random things on Yahoo Answers. I decided to put in 'unicorns' and I came across this... "How do I make my own unicorn?" I was like Um... what? Seriously? o_o I mean, I figure that it's probably someone fucking around and being funny, but it scared me a little that the dude might be serious. He asks about a prostetic horn to put on a horse or a goat, and how little girls love unicorns, how they make them happy. Hm.... creepy. And then the people answering weren't much better, offering up ideas and alternatives for the guy. It took 5 answers before someone was like WTF dude, you're a freak! What do you want with little girls? But all the same, yeah, I laughed and took a picture.

Last but certainly not least, a submission from my friend Celi. She tells me she has something for the blog, and sends me a picture of something she came across....butt condoms.... in the dollar tree no less. Her reaction was like O_O Whoa! so she text'd me the pictured. Hmm... as I sat there, eyebrow raised, and considered this oddity, I was thoroughly amused. I mean... there's condoms for both males and females to wear... why not condoms for anal intercourse? Sure... butt sex should be safe sex, too. But what got me... what really really got me... as that they're called "Toosh", and show a shot of a chick in a string bikini on the front, her string flossing her cheeks. Wow... wow. That's great stuff. So awesome. I had to include this because its... well... epic. Yes, yes indeed. Man. Someone needs better marketing strategies... >_>





So.. that concludes this entry. What a finale, ey? But yeah, I'll try to update sooner this time. We'll see what I can find... Anyway, I'm gonna go like... do...stuff. Peace. -insert Kiko voice-

Yeah...late post, but whatever. It's here, right? Read it.

As someone might notice, I'm a couple days late with the update, but well, life happens. I hung out with some friends Monday night, and last night.. I don't remember what distracted me last night. Anyway, it's here now, so, wee. Oh yeah, I moved the guestbook to the top because some people are too lazy to scroll (It's cool. I am too.)

Egg update: It's still there... >>

Okay, so first up this week was an oddity I came across in the grocery store, once again. Beef Feet. ..... yeah, that's what I said. Beef...feet, the feet of beef, e.g. cows e.g. FEET? So, yeah, I get that such things are used to make soup stock or broth stock. Just like the first time I saw chicken feet in a store, all packaged to be sold. I get that people do it, but it still weirds me out. Being of latino descent and growing up in areas with large latino populations, I got used to seeing like, cow brains, cow tongue... but I'd never seen feet, especially not packaged so...well...bluntly. It's like the beer that comes in a can with a brown label and just says BEER on the label. I guess I find it a little gross too because I don't even eat red meat. So yeah... I was definately all like WTF?! o_O There we go.


Next up for discussion is something I found while in the Salvation Army. I was looking for a desk chair, and when the only one I found was badly overpriced (at the thrift store...go figure), I decided to browse the brick-a-brack shelves. So I'm just looking around, and I come across these: Drizzle Boots. They're like, a portable rain boot you can keep in your car, your purse, your trunk, etcetc. Obviously the packaged was kind of aged, and I'm not sure if the 'Drizzle Boots' had already been used. Immediately I was reminded of the little plastic rain ponchos and rain bonnets my grandmother had in her purse. It's start to sprinkle and she's whip out this thing the size of a handi-wipe and have plastic headgear on 10 seconds later. Amazing. Anyway, So yeah, these just made me chuckle. Drizzle Boots...hehheh. What a terrible product name.



Last on the agenda today is a another reader submission, from my pal B. This one especially made me laugh because it's supposed to be something helpful and useful to someone that's trying to understand their religious faith... however, if you notice, it's The Complete Idiot's Guide to Christian Prayer and Devotion. Heh...Yeahhhh. It's like they already did themselves in, so any critics of this kind of book, well...their peace has already been said. It's like a silent win. I mean, okay... I have no issues with people having their own beliefs and believing in them devoutly. Kudos to you if you found something that works for you. But I'd think that even some Christians would shake their heads at this because well... It's kind of defamatory. But... really, in short, it's f*ckin' hilarious. Seriously... too perfect.

And, thus brings an end to another glorious time. Well, I don't know if it was glorious, but I was amused while writing it. But yeah, if you're so inclined, sign the guestbook. Anyway, I'm gonna go do some stuff now. What stuff? That, I can't tell you because... I'm a ninja, and ninjas have secrets. w3rd.